On The Definition of Cheating

Cheating…well everyone certainly has their own definition of what cheating is to them. I’ve heard some crazy ones though.

I am pretty direct and to the point about cheating. I’ve never experienced this and I’d certainly never cheat (I can say that confidently). I have no tolerance for it. I figure there are -always- better ways to handle a situation if my partner feels disconnected, wants to step outside of the relationship or has other desires. They can communicate to me and let me know what is going on. That’s not an easy thing to hear or to express, but it is always a better alternative to cheating.

Cheating to me is when:

1. my partner sleeps with someone else
2. my partner kisses someone else in a romantic or sexual manner or -lets- someone else do this to them
3. my partner fondles or gropes someone else or -lets- someone do these things to them
4. my partner makes efforts to get involved emotionally with someone else (love letters, phone calls, meetings, etc)
5. my partner is in love with someone else and encourages the associated feelings and connection
6. my partner goes online and uses dating sites or matchmaking services

Any of these things would fit into my definition of cheating. I can respect the decision of others to have an open relationship or one that is polyamorous in nature. There’s no “cheating” going on in those kinds of relationships if both people have an understanding from the beginning. I have a strong curiosity with learning about the relationship styles of others because it’s different from what I prefer or desire. However, I know relationships like that aren’t for me because I am wired differently. I prefer monogamy and my desire to be so has nothing to do with morals or ethics. Ethics only comes into play if a breach of trust is broken and there’s a lack of integrity involved.

I think if someone feels that they can’t commit to a relationship, then they need to be honest about and live according to those desires. Let people know from the jump if you aren’t looking for anything serious. Don’t string people along. Don’t play games or manipulate for ego-gratifying purposes. Set boundaries in casual connections. Get involved with people who are looking for the same thing. Explore other types of relationships that allow you to be with more than one person. Stay single and figure out what you want ultimately. Whatever it is…figure it out and be honest and direct.

I think cheating is most likely to happen when communication is dead or severely limited between two people…or if one or both people are “stuffers” or “internalizers”. Emotions get swept under the rug and there’s no desire a person’s part to find out what they or their partner feels because it’s awkward, perceived as weak and vulnerable, something they’ve never been used to or there’s a fear with laying things out on the table (used to avoiding conflict and directness).

I also think a lack of mutual vulnerability (openness) is damaging and threatening and it must be nipped in the bud early on. Being able to be vulnerable or open with a partner…or feeling like you CAN be…facilitates a desire to communicate and be a relationship team. Lack of vulnerability creates power struggles, resentment, manipulation games and posturing.

If you feel like you can’t open up to your partner, then you both start to conspire against one another. Both people feel suspicious about the other closing up and “hiding” information or their feelings. Both partners (or one person feel) feel like they are misunderstood and not listened to, which creates posturing. Posturing is when the person puts up a front to pretend that they are stronger or more secure than they are feeling inside. Anger replaces expressions of hurt because to cry or to show sadness is to appear weak to the “enemy” (the mistrusted one).

So with all of this toxic stuff happening…the relationship becomes a strong breeding ground for cheating/affairs although none of that will solve anything even if one or both people go on to other relationships. Not unless there’s some learning going on.

These are very common dramas in relationships and most people lack the courage to address these things head on. Relationships certainly present growth challenges and mirror dynamics.

Some people cheat for the thrill and the pursuit…to see what they can get away with…to establish a world within a world that only they and their lover(s) know about when they meet at their secret times and places. So it’s not always about an emotional connection or to get away from a mess in cowardice. Of course, if a person who craved this didn’t do it in the confines of a relationship, the affairs wouldn’t have mystery or a sense of adventure to it. They get off on daring liaisons. I think the only remedy here is for the other person to always pay attention to the person they are committing too. Study their personality and character closely.

Rarely does a person like this neglect dropping hints or revealing him/herself in some manner over time. No one is that good of an actor. There’s always a clue.

Potential Energy

Sometimes when I am observing, let’s say, a political debate…I’ll realize that I don’t have enough information to really form an opinion or to even know what I think, in depth, on a particular issue. It has nothing to do with my capacity for understanding but rather the lack of possessing enough data in that arena. I also realize that if I took the time to gain more knowledge and information on a given topic, that it will allow me to help to foster greater understanding. I would be prepared to offer my view, to try to see the “bigger picture” by looking at all sides, to form analogies where analogies might not have been created and to perhaps fuel epiphanies for both myself and others. I feel I have the potential to do that and that this is where my part as an instrument also comes in but first I must process more information on a given subject. In order to really think about something on your own requires more information to work with. There’s so much to absorb.

When I think of how much there is to learn, it can be overwhelming…but I also think it’s amazing and inspiring. I feel this way when I enter bookstores or libraries. I feel this intense sense of urgency…like I just want to open up the top of my head and dump everything inside all at once.

But of course that’s not possible. I do, however, tend to prefer the autodidactic approach when it comes to learning and seek and use resources accordingly. A good place to start would be to make a list of books I’d like to read and order them through Amazon…and check off items on that list as I complete each book. I also don’t strive to just read or know about things I am comfortable or agree with. You can’t gain understanding and and cultivate and gain awareness by doing that.

This would fit well into the idea of doing and learning something new -every- day.

Why not utilize potential energy? I don’t think most people do in a progressive sense. We get wrapped up in so many mundane and petty dramas. It’s blinding. It’s distracting and over the span of our lives, it might tragic and wasteful.

Lucid Thinking…

Perhaps the nature of existence and being is ideally a complete circle. It’s the perfect symbol. Not like a square or any other object with defined set points. An infinite amount of points (possibilities and modes of life) can be placed on the path of a circle. Humans tend to think in line segments. That thinking inclination inspires how we function and understand. There’s a beginning and there’s a definite end in line segment logic. If there’s a beginning we want to know its source. We believe there has to be a discrete source. However the source is the ending because the ending is the beginning.

It is mind-boggling and hard to process this because again we want a source. We can’t accept this question as being a universal. Has existence always been self-containing and self-supporting? Has it always been a complete circle?

I think of the infinity symbol and see that it’s a circle collapsing into itself. As a result, the collapse creates two hemispheres connected by a central point which establishes a dividing plane. If you were to draw a vertical line on that central point, it would create a dividing plane. Perhaps that describes our existence on this planet or in the physical world. Our goal might be to strive towards completion…overcoming that invisible plane and becoming a circle where the connection between a higher realm (on the left side of the plane) and the material realm (existing on the right side of the plane) is no longer divided. Perhaps that is evolution. Perhaps that is our goal.

I think this question comes up a lot. As a species, why are humans here? Why did we evolve to this point? If we were to become extinct tomorrow, the earth would survive without us and it has before quite well. We create “imbalance” and then seek to save our environment from that imbalance when it has gotten out of hand. But again we created it. We are too intelligent for our own good at times (or are we?). We create ideals that we’d like to strive but aren’t ready for because we haven’t reached that point in evolution. Or we expect everyone to be ready for certain stages of evolution collectively.

So why are we here? What do we need to contribute as a species? and why do we possess a particular level of consciousness and reasoning abilities that other species are believed to not have? There must be a reason. We were at one point less evolved collectively, but if you believe of natural selection as some form of “manifest destiny” in the world of nature, then even this journey in evolution, for us, was not a chance development. It suits some cause.

If something is created, then we can imply that it never existed before. Perhaps it always did. Creation might really just be transformation of an energy or possibility that is already there. Perhaps we are meant to help this planet reach its maximum value (temperature/global warming) in the realm of entropy…and once we do, the earth will reach absolute zero temperature (sun dies out). Something new will then come out of this cycle.

I go back to a previous entry, on LiveJournal, here where I talked about everything happening all at once and how there can be an infinite number of Allyson’s existing in unlimited dimensions. If I “create” a path…then I am saying it didn’t exist before. I am just choosing something that already exists in a different dimension.

As someone in a previous LiveJournal entry mentioned to me in a response to a previous entry: if this is true, then why is any choice that we make more important or epic than another? That’s a very good question.

The civilization of choices. Maybe no choice is inherently better. They all have their conveniences and are used as instruments to fulfill a certain purpose or need. Just like we might be instruments as life forms. We are choices existing on an infinite self-supporting plane. So what truly orchestrates our choices? We like to say it is “us” as a singular entity existing entirely on our own…but perhaps that’s not the right perception. Again our choices might be bigger than “us” in our myopic perspectives. We are instruments. It’s definitely something to think about.

The Past & Loss

I think one of my biggest fears is the loss of a loved one. That’s a subject that’s hard to look at objectively or deeply (because it’s inevitable and never something you can really prepare for) each time it’s considered…especially as the music of decay becomes louder all around me. Evidence of decay is always there of course because that’s part of life and existence but I think we put it in the background when it doesn’t really involve “direct connections”, attachments and bonds…it’s hard to imagine ourselves without those connections and that we’ll never have them again in this lifetime in such a tangible sense.

I find that although I enjoy change, development and transition, I am very much a person who finds it hard to adapt to change in other ways. As I often look to the future, I also tend to be very sentimental and attached to the past. I am often afflicted by ghosts, people and experiences of the past. Sometimes it is hard to “let go” and accept…or to bury. As a result, when I think about the past and change, it’s a very sad process. I feel sick with nostalgia, “what was” and memories of youth and family…everything was newer, simpler and bigger on some level in younger days. Naiveté…innocence, fumbling, discovery, finding one’s way through “firsts”… Even some of my negative experiences and difficult times take on more of an idealistic impression when I feel this way…you feel like you want to stop time from having consistent motion and curl up inside of its suddenly protective wings with all of the people you love and all of the things you know and are familiar with…lasting forever in unity

I seem to “enjoy” being a circle in this instance…because I am going to find myself back into a morose mood if the focus on this subject continues right now…

The Hypnotic Properties of Music

Right now I am listening to the album The Tango Saloon by The Tango Saloon. I am starting to notice that I prefer a lot of music without words (or with very few) when writing or reflecting. In other words (heh), the music preferred is instrumental and atmospheric. It gently creates a mood.

This isn’t an exclusive preference but it seems to be less distracting and more relaxing and stimulating.

There was a time when I started to use music as a way to bring myself into a trance state. One of my favorite albums to do this to was Children of Chaos by T99. The album came out in 1992. The breakthrough hit, “Anasthasia” immediately captured my attention through the now defunct but legendary Los Angeles radio station MARS-FM 103.1. I was a huge fan of this station and would listen to it all the time. So many odd and awesome alternative and electronic artists/bands were introduced into the mainstream.

Anyway, I remember turning on the music, sitting in low lighting and allowing myself to become hypnotized by escaping into the environments, scenes and settings that the music invoked mentally. The more I did this, the more I’d find it easier each time to go into trance mode.

I am not sure what this did for me on a deep level, but it was calming, relaxing and balancing. I could forget about my tangible environment and go somewhere else for the time being. I haven’t done this in years and I am thinking that maybe I should incorporate this form of meditation back into my life. I do it see as a form of meditation and sensory guidance.

As a very passionate, sensual and feeling person, the process would be good for me. It’s important to feel and to tap into sensations because you can become so aware and tuned into things, however this wiring can also be crippling and distracting. The notion of mind over matter deserves some attention and incorporation. There are some skills to be learned here.

Tristesse Globale

I love this somber and melancholy short track by Royksopp. It’s from their album The Understanding, which is very good. It is called “Tristesse Globale”. Someone created or edited a video on YouTube using the song as a backdrop. I’d have different ideas for a video, but it’s the only video on the site where the track is played. The track is also available on my MySpace profile music playlist:

When I listen to it, the video evokes the overwhelming sensations of inevitable loss, suffocating sadness and consuming despair. The emotions are inescapable and fixed, making you utterly sick and ill with them. You can barely breathe or absorb the onslaught of feelings. Tears flow like the crashing, theatrical waters of a rebellious ocean. There’s no rescue or horizon of release. Everything else disappears and waves of inexplicable pain wash over and the colorless night seems like it will last literally forever.

Inspiration & Competition

Inspiration comes from so many sources – experiences, nature, people, events, etc.

Lately, I’ve been looking at a lot of inspiring websites and businesses. I connect with a kindred energy when I sense and feel it. You can discover a lot about yourself, your true goals and passions when you pay attention to what you are drawn to. Patterns can be acknowledged and analyzed and further clarity becomes a result.

I was talking my fiance Andrew about inspiration and also about competition yesterday. What does it mean for someone to be competitive when they aspire to reach a goal or better define themselves?

I don’t necessarily see competition as bad or even destructive, but I do think there are some delusions involved in how some people view competition in themselves. For example, I remember talking with a friend and he mentioned that he hates when others are competitive and that this world would be better off without that kind of drive or focus. I asked him if he saw himself as competitive and he said, “No, I am not really competitive, although I do try to top myself and that’s different.” I told him that was competition, but just directed in a different sense and I also mentioned that he’d be surprised to discover how that inner sense of urgency is often fueled by external factors. It’s impossible to be absolutely free of that as a human being or a life form period. On a very basic level, it’s what defines some function of life and also what makes us able to survive through better adaptations.

I explained how competition with others, in the realm of individualism rather than collective consciousness and being, is not really about “others”…it IS essentially about oneself; the preservation, survival and betterment of oneself through a mode of vicarious direction which reveals values and self-truths. A competitive target could be anyone and anything…it’s just a mirror. So again, it is essentially about self. Some people are more or less external in this mode, but that’s just a different mode of how competition functions. I also think that targets of competition can’t really take or be given any personal credit given what I just mentioned…because they are mirrors. If it’s not that particular situation or person, then it will be another…given that whatever is valued is present.

I thought about this because as I was looking around at sites and profiles of people that I admire, I felt inspiration but I also felt a twinge of wanting to compete. I analyzed that and saw that it came back to the vicarious mode. There are desires inside that create standards and I wish to reach and eventually surpass those standards because it all plays a part of how I desire to define my life. I feel that definition comes from who I think I am as a person and what I think my life purpose is and should be.

If one can look at this process of analysis, one can find out if components in this “formula” create a good result or link up. Look at what makes you respond, compete, feel inspired and so forth. Look at the inner pull involved in these expressions/feelings and see if a set of standards can be realized. Once those standards are realized, think further about life purpose and self-definition and decide whether or not this all really reflects who you think you are or who you think you should be. You might have to do some “retracking” and restructuring and what comes to be realized might not even be pleasant or make sense. This sounds very exact and sequential although the process is more quantum in nature. I think it’s an important process to put oneself through. Discovery and epiphanies will come about for sure and it won’t necessarily be instant…but it will be progress nonetheless.

On a more show n’ tell note, here are few sources of innovation that I feel a connection to and am inspired by:

Illustrators/Designers Vicki Wong and Michael Murphy of Meomi
Illustrator Simone Legno of Tokidoki
Jewelry/Fashion Designer Tarina Tarantino
Illustrator(s) behind Indeepop

There are many more to list, but I’ll keep the list brief…for now.

I’ve been able to read about the history of artistic development and ambition of some of these artists and again I find them so inspiring. I’ve been working on Pink Laughter Kingdom more actively in the last month, particularly with character development. Character development is central to creating a world identity. The Pink Laughter Kingdom concept has been in my head for so long and it’s time to really push it to the next level.

In an effort to further articulate many of my visions in this realm, I will be going into an intense mode of self-education and development. I decided to check back with Gnomon School of Visual Effects for 5 week and 10 week class sessions as I work at home. The classes are 500 dollars each so that’s not too bad for 5-10 week sessions. I’d like to develop my skills in gesture, character and figure drawing, by taking some of these classes during the weekend if possible in the middle of the week, because I have a lot of ideas for character development that involve stronger skills in this area of illustration. Additionally, I think Santa Monica College has some interesting weekend classes to look into.

As I mentioned before, I’d like to develop more skills in the area of web development as well. Nothing intense or big as I am not aspiring to be a full-fledged programmer of course. I just seek development that will further help me to be self-reliant in my design projects and as an artist with greater technical skills. I am trying to lessen that chasm I spoke about in a previous entry…between artistic vision and realization.

Cool site (I so love designer toys!)…it is in Japanese, but there are many figures to look at in the products section, once going further into the site.

Good Smile Company

Public Libraries (Taking on the status of arcades)

Outside of academic and/or campus libraries, I just don’t hear of many people going to local libraries anymore…if they have one of their area. Libraries have become rather obsolete, nonexistent and/or antiquated in many locations and if they do exist, it seems a small percentage of people really seek out the comfort, space and benefits of a library atmosphere.

Maybe today’s libraries need to be revamped and promoted in a different way to attract younger people.

The reality is that today’s generation just doesn’t read nearly as much as previous generations. Funding cuts have undermined the development, maintenance and promotion of public libraries in many areas. Furthermore, bookstores have taken the place of libraries to a large degree. Bookstores have the coffee and cafe section, areas with music and magazines, and tables and chairs set up to entice people to stay, lounge, read and hopefully make purchases. Yep, they are semi-functional modern-day libraries

I’ve always loved going to libraries .When I was younger, trips to the library were definitely excursions I always looked forward to when my father took me along. He’d often go for job-related research material and downtime.

I was fascinated with getting my hands on all sorts of reading material, especially if the material was very offbeat, controversial and related to medicine. I’d look at a lot of psychology books and journals and seek out medical publications featuring pictures, descriptions and explanations for various skin diseases and illnesses. The images would often be bizarre and unsettling, but I’d find myself extremely drawn to viewing and reading about them regardless. I remember that I’d always hide these books from my father, once I saw him approaching, because I knew he’d disapprove of me looking at books he considered inappropriate. Pictures of men with pus-leaking and scab-covered penises and torsos were not images he would have approved of no matter how medical the book was in context. LOL!!

Exploring the interior of large libraries was an extra delight. I’d love getting lost in the meandering hallways, numerous floors, back rooms, quiet and mysterious conference rooms and the sections with periodicals and references. When it was time to leave, I couldn’t wait to check out some of my selections especially since using my library card made me feel so giddy. Having a library card was like having a credit/cash card and going to the library was like shopping. Coming home from the library with reading goods to indulge in was euphoric.

I miss that…

These trips were also very much like the trips to my father’s office. He’d take me during weekends when very few people were there and I’d run around exploring all of the desks and areas in the building while he worked in his office. I’d find all sorts of things on people’s desks – jars of candy, cookies in tin containers, unusually shaped erasers, colored pencils, bright neon markers and pens and so forth. At some point, I’d spend the rest of the time there drawing and playing around on some of the white boards, with markers I retrieved from my father’s desk. It was very much like an adventure. I am sure that when everyone came back into office, they were puzzled as to why some of their desk treats were missing or less in number. Blame it on the elusive office elf…

I’d love to see a resurgence of library culture and popularity…outside of academic settings.

On Making Things Happen

Are you a go-getter or do you wait for things to happen to you?

I’ve been a bit of both at different times in my life. Over time I see myself functioning more in the former category. I can be very type A and perform with an explosive and enduring amount of energy when I put my mind and heart into something, but then I can be bad at procrastinating in other moments and find it difficult to get started in executing an objective…for a number of reasons. Some of these reasons are ones that I’ve talked about in previous journal entries.

I truly do not believe in waiting for things to happen. Sometimes, one does get lucky and certain opportunities just fall into place, but even with that being a factor, some preparation must be present. If luck does occur, it would suck big time to NOT be ready to take on a given opportunity because you waited around and didn’t invest in any planning. It would pretty much be a case of “being caught off guard”.

I was talking to my fiance Andrew last night about ideas and concepts…as well as being in the habit of being overwhelmed by the desire to carry out many ideas and passions. This is common among a lot of creative types, so it’s something many can understand and relate to. He also he expressed his experience with this and talked about the long-standing desire of turning his novel into a graphic novel series at some point. We were looking at a lot of sites online for inspiration and this is what originally led to this discussion tangent.

I am seeing that many illustrators are taking their ideas and expressing them three dimensionally. I’ve always been fascinated with this process and wish to do this myself. I mentioned this to Andrew, and he expressed his desire for taking the characters of his novel into the three dimensional realm, drawing-wise, to create detailed characterization. Afterwards, I asked him if he ever had the desire to work with 3D Studio Max. He said that he briefly used Lightwave in the past, but that was about as much as he experienced with using 3D graphics software. He emphasized that writing is his main focus and he is overwhelmed with how much he’d ideally like to do overall. This is understandable, as he is swamped with work in his master’s program, will soon be gearing up for his internship in Montreal and spends any spare time working on the book drafts for the rest of his novel series for Eden’s Heel (and of course talking to me).

I told him that working in 3D Studio Max does not mean he has to focus on becoming a 3D modeler or animator. It would mean that he’d find his skills expanding in a way that might be surprising to him because I’ve seen this happen with myself in various circumstances. Regardless of where an artist is at, all artists have visions and when the gap between an artist’s vision(s) and the artist’s abilities is great, it creates more frustration and disenchantment. One of the most satisfying things to do, as an artist, is to be able establish visionary goals by decreasing that chasm…but I believe that in order to do this, we must sometimes seek to find and acknowledge connections in unfamiliar ways.

For example, I remember taking a 2D Design class several years ago as an art/art history major and the first projects in that class were several exercises working with pen and ink. Many of the assignments dealt with stripping down full-color photographs and images into basic shapes composed of values (black and white). All areas of light were displayed initially as white gouache (paint) and all areas of shadow were displayed as areas of black gouache and eventually we started creating a scale between those two values through shades of gray from a 10 step gradation scale. We worked so extensively with these exercises, that I can remember one day looking at my instructor during lecture and suddenly, I saw him completely composed in black and white values…almost to the point of being down right disturbing. My perception switched into a different area and I saw him as a foundation of basic elements.

We see chiaroscuro (shadow and light) everyday, but the average person takes these details in their environment for granted. Shadow and light are seen, but as elements they aren’t truly acknowledged by what I call the third eye. Artists with great execution have third eyes that are sharper and more refined. The third eye for everyone is composed of many different segments; often segments that remain undeveloped and as untapped potential. I started to see not only my instructor in values but everything around me. That segment of my third eye had come into further development since I had transitioned into a different visualization process through a series of pen and ink works and conditions.

The average person, in varying degrees, is relatively good at pattern recognition, which leads to clearer and sharper identification and associative cognition, and if a common object is asked to be described, most people can describe it in words and/or draw a very basic sketch of it on a piece of paper. Moreover, they can point it out if they see it in a lineup among other objects.

How well they can draw and describe the object is affected by the strength of their third eye. Some people visualize details of something naturally better than others and will be able to translate this in a number of ways whether it is with sketchbook, words or some other channel and that is often described as talent. However, even people with that advantage need further third eye sharpening. It takes practice, time and creative thinking. I liken this to being able to add up numbers in the mind’s eye. When we try to do this, we struggle more or less than others to keep the numbers present within a mental viewpoint. The numbers seem to want to disappear or move around and mess up the process of calculation while we imagine. People who are good (or get to be good) with mathematical calculations can keep a stronger focus of numbers, and their relations with one another, in the mind longer so that it is as functional to get a result as it would be in utilizing paper which provides static reference.

Another striking incidence of visualization shift took place when I started using 3D Studio Max. I became completely fascinated with the program and after class was over, I stayed up many nights experimenting with the program and doing various online tutorials until 5-7am in the morning. I wanted to learn as much as I could because it was a completely new process and there was so much potential to express my creative ideas in a different way than before. I noticed that, again, I started to see everyday objects in a completely different way. I began seeing everything in basic shapes or shape complexes the way I did when I worked in 3D Studio Max. I paid attention to texture and lighting the way I did when working in the program and I eventually noticed that when I went back to creating illustrations in Illustrator and Photoshop, I developed a stronger eye for creating depth through texture, lighting and shape. My technique became better just through using 3ds Max. I didn’t have this expectation when I first started using the program but the epiphany was a delicious encounter.

A lot of people would see working in this program and developing better skills, in other facets of illustration, as unrelated…but as a person who loves symbolism, analogy and seeing and making connections, I feel this is no different in gaining the benefits of taking, for example, an acting class and using that to further strengthen the ability to express yourself in other ways, unrelated to a career and pursuit in acting. Taking acting classes is a great tool for a lot of people who are shy, want to be speakers/lecturers, wish to sing and desire a better understanding of themselves and others kinesthetically, especially since this comprises a large segment of communication and relative interpretation. Again, the skills sets developed in this manner aren’t advantageous to just actors. There are a multitude of priceless skill development connections here waiting to be unsheathed and seized.

So, as mentioned before, decreasing the chasm between vision and ability can be achieved by seeking, finding and building connections between seemingly unrelated functions and areas.

When Andrew mentioned that he had no time for developing his drawing skills in the realm of character design by utilizing 3D Studio Max, and that it was unrelated to what he wanted to do with his focus in writing, I then disagreed due to the aforementioned thoughts. He might not have time to truly devote himself to character design right now in this manner, but he might find dabbling in a program such as that to be surprisingly beneficial. It might be the missing link in developing stronger skills spatially for the establishment of projects related to sequential art (comics). This isn’t the only way he can develop stronger character design skills. He could find other unconventional ways to do this, but it’s one of many ideas that could offer some results and progress. It’s good to experiment to see what can develop.

Build a ship, grab a pair of binoculars, pack necessities in preparation of your journey…and set out to explore…

On The Culture of Thinness

I recently had some thoughts on obsession of skinny in this culture…and why our society values very thin as the physical ideal when it hasn’t always been this way. I am thinking this really had a lot to do with our country moving more into a consumerist nation over several time periods. Excess is accessible to many people…even poor people in the U.S. aren’t on the same level as the economically dispossessed in developing nations. We have so much…in many different ways…food/nutrition, multimedia stimulation and so forth. It’s easy for someone to become overweight and excessively so. No longer is this a physical stature common to only the wealthy and well-to-do classes like it was back when zaftig and rubenesque bodies were admired and adored.

Having a full or plump form was associated with living well, having rich drinks and beverages, and having excess overall which wasn’t accessible to the rest of peasant society who suffered from nutrition deficiencies and the like. A collective social mind developed and many subliminal connotations were born creating a culture of desires, ideals and standards that reflected the environment and the economy. As our society became more industrialized and technologically advanced, no longer was the average American a peasant or dispossessed from accessing excess in some way or another…even if they were poor. Poor families are still “over-nutritioned”. They aren’t starving the way children are starving in developing countries and we don’t even get the types of diseases that starving children in developing countries get…quite often. The poor in the U.S. tend to eat more poorly more than anything else.

Anyway, a body that is fat is considered unfit and common. It is without a guidance of control and structure. Anyone can get fat and there are many relatively new illnesses at epidemic levels associated with obesity. In the past, these culture-specific epidemics weren’t there (and they aren’t in developing countries today), which further shows and validates a change in the infrastructure and culture of our nation. As a result, again the collective social mind has developed a culture of desires, ideals and standards which reflect these changes. A thin, lean and taut body is one of those pervasive ideals that have come out of this changing collective social mindset…

I would even argue, that although eating disorders aren’t truly about being very thin/weight and they are manifested through the mask of body image dissatisfaction and never before (until now) have we seen eating disorders at such an epidemic level, the mask that eating disorders take on is a symptom of wanting to gain control through an ill method of survival in this excessive and over-stimulated nation. The metaphorical desire is to be as thin as possible. It’s truly a dark theatrical entity which gives validation to what I am theorizing about here. We don’t see these problems in developing countries.

We can advertise about diets all day every day, but the common body ideal won’t change until our economy shifts and changes. I don’t see this happening unless the U.S., Canada and other first nation countries go into a deep, abysmal, economic depression for a long period of time, thus making excess truly inaccessible to the vast majority in a profound way…the way it is in developing countries. The very thin, lean taut body ideal will remain for quite a long time. It’s also very telling how weight loss surgery is becoming so common. I even remember the popularity of people getting their mouths wired shut, back in the 80s and early 90s, so they could only drink liquids in order to lose weight and control their eating. We have certainly gone to extremes and normalized them…and continue to do so.

Metaphorically, power now is about having control over one’s body in a world of excess and this translates into being very thin. It’s interesting because with so much excess all around, one would think we’d embrace what’s inevitable by living in it, which is an overweight body…a complete symptom of our cultural realm…but that’s what essentially makes the desire for control so much of a pathological focus and drive in this country

I also remember reading an article about men who suffered from anorexia or didn’t eat much and how this influenced the kind of body they tend to be attracted to in their partners. If I am not mistaken, I think it was a Psychology Today article. It was mentioned that these men found full-figured women more attractive because they represented enrichment in lifestyle and physique that they lacked or aspired to have themselves. A fuller body wasn’t just about looks to these men psychologically, when it came to arousal, but it was associated with comfort, pleasure, sensuality and satisfaction. Some also were said to equate fuller bodies with more sexual expression because the women ate more, which was reflected in their body builds, and were seen as able to enjoy life on a large scale by not restricting and withholding as most women do because they have an obsession with being thin.

That’s quite intriguing. There’s a lot to think about when looking at men (or women) who consider themselves FAs or Fat Admirers in a culture that highly resists and scoffs at such preferential or at least inclusive attraction. What’s in this rebellion or difference of mind, amid the majority ideals, regardless of whether it is more nature or nurture?

The article was an interesting read; I wish I could find that article online somewhere. I read it a few years ago. It made me ponder more on this theory of the etiology of body ideals and standards in a given society or culture.

I’ll be writing an article on ideas for establishing a healthy mind and lifestyle in the near future. I have a list of articles that I am working on.